We know what an unchained ego can do. Besides I am a fan of self deprecating humor - I don't get no respect, no respect at all...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
I looked at my family tree and found three dogs using it.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.