So... the annual anniversary I deal with at the dark of the year is the death, in utero, of my identical twin at about 4-1/2 months gestation. It was a late twinning, meaning that the egg division was completed with timing that resulted not only in a shared placenta, but-- so rare-- a shared amniotic sac. I have the complete memory of dying (co-experiencing with my twin what she experienced), and the complete memory of struggling to survive her dying.

It's very rare for one to survive the other's death within the shared sac. The dissolution and resorption of the one affects the other. So, part of the annual cycle for me usually includes being grossed out by smells and disorder around me.

I work on this hard in counseling, and every year it manifests in a new way that I don't see coming. This year, it happens that when my energy will be at its annual low, my husband is retiring from a busy parish at the busiest time of the year. For both our sakes-- he's very tired-- I've negotiated that our actual final moving process will wait till March. Our retirement cottage in Ohio is furnished "enough" that we'll depart PA with two mattresses and kitchen essentials, and any valuables we don't wish to leave in the empty house.

I head back from Ohio to PA Dec. 5. I'm trying to simplify everything I can, now, so that our retirement goes smoothly.

And I just spotted one way it's come up already this year-- worrying that hubby may die of exhaustion. I'll have to work on that!

~S~