Regarding the Jehovah's witnesses, the Mormons, etc. coming to your door...

I enjoy talking about religion sometimes, if I have the time, so I just talk them blue in the face until they become stupefied and leave. It's great fun to take them outside the parameters of their little Dick and Jane primers, and see how they react. I talk to them about other religions, mysticism, reincarnation, parallel universes, Buddha, Taoism, Native American beliefs, religion on other planets, and so on. Of course, sometimes, I don't have the time for that...in which case I don't answer the door if I see them coming.

My friend Walsh has a lot of nerve. He saw some old lady Jehovah's witnesses approaching down the sidewalk. He quickly stripped off all his clothing except for his boxer shorts, and waited for the doorbell to ring. When it did, he threw open the door, and with a big smile on his face said, "Hi! You're just in time for the orgy!!!"

You never saw two old ladies disappear so fast.

- LH