Back in the sixties a teacher named Peter Moloney jotted down things said by his pupils and later made an LP where he related some of them

He said he was in church when he heard the priest roar out from the confessional "what kind of a boy are you child?"
The reply came, "I'm a girl, father"

Two of his pupils were said to have been walking own the street by the nearby Childwall Abbey, when they say a very elderly Monk, stooped and bent over, approached them from the opposite direction.
One lad said, "Eh father, was0 youse in the Ark?"
The monk replied indignantly, "Of course I wasn't boy, what a stupid question"
"Well why wasn't you drowned then?"

A fellow teacher sent a letter home with one of her girl students which said, "It would be helpful to the class if Maria payed more attention to her personal hygiene".
She received the indignant reply, "We send Maria to school to learn something, not to smell like a bleedin' daffodil"

Loads more of these gems if I could only lay my hands on the album
Jim Carroll