A friend (really, this wasn't me) was in the checkout line once, laid a nice, discreet, quiet fart, and then tried to kind of walk past it. Suddenly up pipes her three-year-old from the kid part of the cart she's pushing - really loudly - I smell Mommy farts! Silence fell around her from checkout lines on either side - poor thing couldn't even pretend it wasn't her kid! But what do people use when they want to stop a conversation?