The No-Funnel Line ( Lyrics by Les Barker, tune: Grey Funnel Line- as performed by Phil Beer)

Don’t mind the wind or the rolling to see
the weary night never worries me
don’t mind the storms, don’t fear the squalls
because we’ve got no ships at all
there’s room below on the no funne line

a chap called Grayling called around
and gave us £13 million
and in his haste he failed to spot
the things we need but haven’t got
there’s room below on the no final line

One day they’ll come, the HGVs
down Through the town and along the quays
and down the ramp all unaware
to find the ferry but it’s not there
there’s room below on the no funnel line

there is I fear no way to wend
our way from Margate to Ostend
Our name may well be Seaborne freight
but without a boat, we are buggered mate
there’s room below on the no funnel line

Oh lord, if dreams were only real
We’d make a fortune from a no-deal
one final toast, please raise your drinks
as Miss Titanic slowly sinks
there’s room below on the no funnel line

and as we slip beneath the sea
the band will play “abide with me”
and barely yards from Blighty’s shore
we’ll sail the no funnel line no more
we’ll sail the no funnel line no more

Copyright Les Barker

If anyone spots any typos, please feel free to update.

Bradfordian