There is a humorous Scots song to the tune of Mo Dhachaidh, about a woman that has had a stream of husbands. It is full of puns and double entendres: would love to get the lyrics: I do know a couple of people who sing it, so could try the direct approach. I have checked the Lyric search to no avail, but it got me to this thread.

The chorus goes something like:
Noo I'm a fine widder and handsome and braw,
And ------------------, that's nae thing ava,
But if some handsome laddie would take me awa,
Then I'll be his bride in the morning.
(Or, e.g. - I'll get number five in the morning.)