No discussion of geoducks would be complete without this song by Meryle Korn

AN ODE TO THE HUMBLE GEODUCK
(Meryle A. Korn, Portland, OR, 19 July 1987)

'Twas some years ago in the summer,
at Charleston down on the coast
Where Joseph and Doug would go fishing,
a thing that they liked to do most,
They'd carry their beer to the harbor,
with hook, line and sinker, and pole,
And they'd sit and they'd fish in the sunlight,
till Nature came to call.

Now if there were no ladies present,
to the end of the dock they would stroll;
Not for them, the small, smelly building
that stood back on the shore,
They'd check right and left to be certain,
then their zippers they'd open wide,
Relieve themselves into the water,
and back up the dock they would stride.

Now it happened a boat full of "gentlemen"
at the end of the dock was tied,
And they'd comment upon the "equipment"
of each fisherman who came by,
And Joseph was not tall in stature,
and he got their treatment full,
And though he would always ignore them,
their mockery soon did pall.

But one day he dug up a geoduck!
An idea leapt into his mind,
Of a way to befuddle those yokels
whose words were so unkind,
He cut off the neck of the geoduck
(it surely would suit his plans),
And affixed it somehow to a most private place,
and tucked it down into his pants.

And that afternoon at his fishing,
drank the requisite number of beers,
Then sauntered on down to the dock's end
to his tormenters' hoots and jeers,
But the catcalling stopped! in amazement
as he prepared to do his deed, pulled out
Three feet of neck of the geoduck,
and through it, la la la, la lee!

Then grasping it firmly at center,
he went to a piling that stood
Covered with sharp shells of barnacles
encrusted on the wood;
Three mighty WHACKS! he gave it,
then tucked it back into its place,
And walked past their open-mouthed gawking,
beatifical smile on his face!

Cheers, S. in Seattle