You want some good brexit news? Well yertis, courtesy of a chap posting a comment to a Guardian piece (the one about Theresa May's policy on mouldy jam):

As Rome burns by a Tory flame thrower; and Ian Blackford’s laser like critique of May’s rhetorical guff, Brexit pain is clearly for the little people only while the elite ship off and ship out:
- UK has rolled over just £16bn out of £117bn trade deals – 13% success rate, nice one Foxy, Geeza job, a’can do that….
- Anti-terror checks deliver fresh Brexit threat for UK hauliers.
- Targeted no-deal Brexit ads are funded opaquely, yet the government has failed to bring in new laws – I wonder why?
- The Dutch government has said it is in talks with more than 250 companies about moving their operations from the UK to the Netherlands before Brexit.
- As the GB pound tanks on the international currency markets exiting Europe with a no deal Disaster Capitalist are set to swoop on Brexit Britain and seize assets of indebted UK companies and Public Sector organisations.
- The UK’s trade with Japan will revert to World Trade Organisation tariffs in the case of a no-deal Brexit.
- The Department for International Trade (DIT) told business leaders this week that time was running out for Britain to roll-over trade deals with about 60 countries the EU has free trade arrangements with,
- Boris Johnson suggests that leaving the EU will allow us to dismantle green standards for electrical goods and environmental impact assessments.
- Iain Duncan Smith asks for the removal after Brexit of the carbon floor price, which has more or less stopped coal-burning in the UK.
- With Liam Fox is demanding the destruction of food and environmental standards as the price of the trade deal he desperately seeks with the US.
- Jacob Rees-Mogg has proposed that we accept “emission standards from India”. “We could say, if it’s good enough in India, it’s good enough for here.”
- Brexit Snowflakes melt in huge numbers causing widespread gushing of crocodile tears due to the heat from Donald Tusk.
- UK financial sector has shifted at least £800 billion ($1 trillion) worth of assets out of UK into the EU because of Brexit, with consequential losses in tax receipts to HMT.
- Britain’s economy is contracting – James Knightly of IGN.
- Brexit's vice-like grip is hurting services industry -Duncan Brock at the Chartered Institute of Procurement & Supply.
- Purchasing Managers Index (PMI) plunges to a 2 ½ year low due to Tory Brexit shambles.
- 200 000 British applied for Irish passports in 2018 to retain EU citizenship.
- Tory refused six times to answer a question about what was on offer to Nissan.
- Cold war plans revived to move Queen to safe location away if unrest follows no deal.
- Nissan shelving plans to build new X-Trail in UK.
- Government officials are preparing to deal with “putrefying stockpiles” of rubbish.
- One in three UK firms plan for no-deal Brexit relocation – IOD.
- More than one in 10 British businesses have already set up operations outside the UK.
- British car manufacturing investment plunges by 50%
- Food retailers now tell us we are 9 meals away from anarchy.
- Royal Bank of Scotland to transfer a third of clients and assets worth billions to Amsterdam.
- Barclays to move £170bn to Dublin over no-deal Brexit fears.
- Media companies (Discovery; Comcast; NBC) have moved staff and broadcast licenses out of the UK.
- Five of the largest banks transferring 750 billion euros ($857 billion) of assets to Frankfurt.
- Unilever to consolidate its headquarters in Rotterdam, and not in London.
- HSBC moving 1000 jobs from London to Paris, where it will set up its EU headquarters.
- UBS to move 1000 jobs from London to EU offices, including Frankfurt.
- 'May can no longer be trusted': Heavyweight European press condemns PM
- NHS trusts 'could run out of medical supplies' without Brexit deal. – Birmingham Hospital Chief
- British retirees in EU will lose free healthcare under no-deal Brexit. – DoH Select Committee
- UK personal insolvencies hit seven-year high. – Insolvency Service
- Corporate insolvencies are likely to continue to rise in 2019. – Menzies LLP
- European Banking Authority from London to Paris.
- European Medicines Agency relocates from London to Amsterdam.
- Moneygram will move its EU headquarters from London to Brussels.
- Dyson to Singapore.
- Rees-Mogg to Dublin with two portfolios.
- Farage to Germany with passports for his sons.
- Lawson holed up in France.
- Airbus UK about to fly out from UK.
- Jim Ratcliffe, Britain’s richest man, reportedly moving to Monaco for tax purposes.
- Panasonic moving its European HQ from the UK to The Netherlands.
- Sony moving its European HQ from London to The Netherlands.