the mother chose to go

Yes, she did. When she was, what was it? 14 or 15? Not old enough to vote. Not old enough to drink. Certainly not old enough to make life changing decisions. Dissatisfied with her home life, as most teenagers are. Lured by the promise of doing something important. Used, and more than likely, abused by her new "family". And for this she has had to go through the trauma of war, seeing atrocities first hand and losing 3 children. And they are trying to justify our government's complicity in this.

Arseholes is far too mild an expression.