The visible damage. People are bullied, and it makes them/us feel a lot of bad things.

Then, what happens (if you're a kid, and adults can't, or won't, get involved) is to think you'll take the bullies' power away by saying the bad stuff before they do. By admitting you're defective, just so they back off.

After that, the negative self-image, and the thoughts that you're undeserving of anything good can become reality. You become the role you played. You faked it until you maked it. Made it. Whatever.
So these days, I encourage people to underestimate me, then I get pissed off when they do.

I'm trying to overcome all of this, but the main point is that words said to children can affect them for the rest of their lives, and it's up to them to notice the hurt and figure out how to heal themselves.

With sticks and stones, you get bandages and x-rays right off the bat.

The solution, like with so many problems is for the in-group, the "cool kids" to see that bullying is wrong, and stop themselves. I thought that happened with race, but current assholery makes me think that, as humans, no progress we make is permanent. We just have to have some common view of what decency looks like, and we need to keep paying attention.