Mrs Steve and I have this tradition of not cooking on Wednesday nights. The core of the menu is always cheese with Bath Olivers. We have a repertoire of accompaniments/starters. It could be avocado with prawns and Delia Smith's seafood sauce, or my version of mackerel pate* with toasted Crosta Mollusca Puglian bread (two quid from Waitrose, does us twice, freeze half of it), or just assorted nibbles.

Tonight it was assorted nibbles. We had a pot of Greek olives with feta and sun-dried tomatoes (M&S), a small pot of habas fritas, a small pot of almonds, half a jar of caperberries, some Sungold tomatoes from my greenhouse and some baby cucumbers, sliced longways, also from my greenhouse. The cheeses were a hunk of Montagnolo (a soft blue triple-creme cheese from Germany) and a hunk of Mrs Kirkham's Lancashire. My God, we ate well. We washed it down with a bottle of Puglian Primitivo (oddly, the label said Zinfandel, genetically identical). Sweet dreams, dearest...

*The mackerel pate is disgustingly delicious and disgustingly easy. Make it the day before for best flavour. If you have a hand blender it takes about four minutes not counting the washing up. If you haven't got a hand blender, there's something seriously wrong with you...

You need two cans of mackerel in olive oil, which you should drain and discard the oil, one heaped teaspoon of hot mustard (Colmans English innit, not that grainy stuff), one tablespoon of full-fat creme fraiche, a grinding of black pepper (no salt, please), a dash of Tabasco and the juice of a good half of lemon. Do not use that abomination which is bottled lemon juice. Get yourself a fresh unwaxed lemon. You won't regret it.

Put the whole lot into a jug and blitz it to almost death with your hand blender. You will have to shove it down the side of the jug a couple of times. It's very quick. Scoop into a nice ornamental pot (I have a lovely collection that I bought in Andalucía). Just before you serve it up to your beloved, coarsely grate some lemon zest on top. You need some really good hot toast and butter to go with it. The Puglian toast is magnificent if you can get it.

As with many things, I can't tell you how much better this is if you make it the day before and stick it in the fridge...