Ebbie, I can relate to what you said and I think I have been living by that concept for a few decades:

"Some time ago I learned that I can forgive anything that I can truly understand."

I don't even think I have to completely understand. Even a partial understanding helps.

And Donuel, I think you have hit the nail on the head about the honourable quality for taking responsibility compared with the responses of narcissists and/or sociopaths. People who take responsibility probably lose sleep at times over what they could have done better or differently to improve a situation or relationship but narcissists & sociopaths probably sleep like a baby because they don't care about other people. IMHO. (I've worked with a few over the years. I'm happy that I'm now retired and out of that loop.)

My go-to resource for understanding serial bullies

So the message here seems to be if we have regrets and care about the consequences of our actions then we can learn from the situation and hopefully be better human beings.

Those pop up memories and regrets could be a neurological phenomenon which is possibly more prevalent as we age. It might even be physiological (see my reference to the workings of the brain as shown in the TV show), but it could be also a psychological, emotional and or spiritual process to help us to work towards being better people.

This thread is timely for me, because it was only a couple of weeks ago that another memory popped up in my head and I started trying to work out why now, why that particular memory, how do I deal with it, what does it mean to me and all the associated feelings relating to that situation that I was recalling.

Thanks meself for starting this thread.