"And remember," intoned the minister as the offering plate was passing among the congregation, "The Lord loveth a cheerful giver!"

As the plate neared Auld McTavish, the tightest man ever to polish a pew, the minister gave him a highly significant look.

"Today, I'll be askin ye, each and every one, t'give until it hurts!"

McTavish took the plate and held it for a long moment, staring fixedly into its depths with a grimace that bespoke the deepest agony...and then passed it along no whit heavier than when it had arrived in his lap.

The minister could not contain his indignation and roared from the pulpit:

"Damn ye, McTavish! Did ye nae hear me say to give until it hurt, mon?"

McTavish replied with equal heat:

"Oh, aye!" he cried, perspiration beading his ruddy forehead. "An I'd have ye know, ye great lout, the vurrah thought of it hurt!"