Bloke woke up in his hospital bed after his operation. The surgeon was there to see him.

Doc, sez the bloke, How did it go? Well, sez the doc, remember that I told you we'd have to amputate your leg? Well there's good news and bad news about that...

Oh God, sez yer man, what's the good news? Well, sez the doc, in the end we only had to take off half your leg.

Oh thank God! sez yer man, but what's the bad news? Sez the doc, It was the top half...