SHTICKS AND STONES MEDLEY
As recorded by Allan Sherman on "My Son, the Folk Singer" (1962)

[Tune: "Blue Tail Fly"]
Oh, salesmen come and salesmen go,
And my best one is gone I know,
And if he don't come back to me,
I'll have to close the factory.

Gimme Jack Cohn and I don't care.
Gimme Jack Cohn and I don't care.
Gimme Jack Cohn and I don't care,
But the bastard's gone away.

[Tune: "Jamaica Farewell"]
I'm upside down, my head is turning around,
Because I gotta sell the house in Levittown.

[Tune: "Little David, Play on Your Harp"]
Little David Susskind, shut up.
Please don't talk; please don't talk.
Little David Susskind, me first.
Then you'll talk.

[Tune: "St. James' Infirmary"]
I went down to Mt. Sinai Hospital to see my old zaide there,
And I said, "Thanks God for the Blue Cross and I wish we had the Medicare."

[Tune: "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen"]
God bless you, Jerry Mendelbaum; let nothing you dismay.
This May you had a rotten month, so what is there to say?
Let's hope next May is better and good things will come your way
And you won't have a feeling of dismay
Next May.

[Tune: "When The Saints Go Marching In"]
Oh, when the paint'ners go marching in,
Oh, when the paint'ners go marching in,
Just make sure they put a dropcloth
When the paint'ners go marching in.

[Tune: "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho"]
Jascha got a bottle of Geritol, Geritol, Geritol.
Jascha got a bottle of Geritol
And he knocked a hole in the wall.
That's all.
No wall.

[Tune: "I Will Give My Love an Apple"]
I gave my love a chicken; it had no bone.
I gave my love a cherry; it had no stone.
I gave my love a baby and then, you see,
My love got very angry and she said to me:

"I didn't mind the chicken without the bone.
I didn't mind the cherry without the stone,
But when you give a baby, it's just one thing:
You oughta give at least an engagement ring."

[Tune: Stephen Foster's "De Camptown Races"]
The Catskill ladies sing this song:
Hoo-hah, hoo-hah!
Sittin' on the front porch playin' mahjong
All hoo-hah day.

[Tune: "The Yellow Rose of Texas"]
Oh, I'm Melvin Rose of Texas, and my friends all call me Tex
When I lived in old New Mexico, they used to call me Mex
When I lived in old Kentucky, they called me Old Kentuck
I was born in old Shamokin, which is why they call me Melvin Rose.

[Tune: "Short'nin' Bread"]
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh, matzoh.
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh balls.
Mammy's little baby wants pots and pots o'
Lots and lots o' matzoh balls.

Stole the skillet; stole the led.
Stole a lot o' balls made of Pesach bread.
Stole the chicken out o' the soup,
Stole the pot and made a lot o' chicken soup.

Mammy's little baby loves matzoh, matzoh.
Mammy's little baby loves matzoh balls.
Mammy's little baby wants pots and pots o'
Lots and lots o' matzoh balls.