Joe, you remind me of a song I have thought of posting here but never got around to. It was on one of Oscar Brand's "Bawdy Songs and Backroom Ballads."

THE HERMIT

A hermit there was who lived in a dell,
I'll swear to the truth of this tale that I tell;
My grandfather's grandfather knew him quite well,
This hermit...

He live all alone by the side of a lake;
Of concoctions of herbs all his meals he would make,
And naught but of fish did the good man partake,
On Fridays...

To ordinary mortals his portals he closed,
Once a year he'd bathe his body and clothes;
How the lake stood it, the Lord only knows,
And he won't tell...

One morning he rose, all dripping and wet,
When his horrified vision two young ladies met.
In feminine matters he was no vet,
So he blushed...

He grabbed for his hat where it lay on the beach,
To cover up all that its broad brim would reach,
And then he cried out in a horrified screech:
"GO AWAY!"...

But the girls only laughed at his pitiful plight,
And asked him to show them the wonderful sight.
He clutched at the hat, held on to it tight,
To hide it...

Just at this moment a wandering gnat
Made the hermit forget just where he was at.
He swung at the insect and let go the hat,
Oh, Horrors!...

Now I have come to the crux of my tale:
The hermit turned red, and then he turned pale.
He uttered a prayer, for prayers never fail,
So 'tis said...

Of the truth of this story there's no doubt at all,
The Lord heard the prayer and he answered the call;
Though he let go the hat, the hat didn't fall,
A blessed miracle!...

(The ellipse indicates that although the words stop, the musical phrase is continued by an instrumental. It's in three/quarters time, with a very familiar melody which I can't identify)