Hee hee Steve! Our very Norfolk neighbour often says, "What the floiying hev yew been a-doing?" (to avoid saying the f word) or "Their blaaarsted dawg hev done a tom-tit on R gaaaarden!" (ie shit)

Cockney rhyming slang has dozens and dozens of euphemisms for swear-words,eg Donald Duck, Dipstick (prick), Bristols (Bristol City = titty), George The Third (turd)
I have a book/dictionary of these called Cockney Rabbit by Ray Puxley.