Due to Mrs Steve ironing and me mistiming the cooking, I'm delighted to announce that at precisely eight o'clock we'll be sitting in t'kitchen scoffing a hearty beef-in-Guinness stew I've made, accompanied by mashed spuds and some greens. And a bottle of red*. I'll raise a glass to the heroes of the NHS and the care sector. The queer old dean can go boil her privileged head.

*Are Tories jealous cos there's no such thing as blue wine?