Here's a real gem:

Yea, Morals Matter
(Original version 1936, lyrics by F. Dudley Perkins ‘37; one verse from the ‘40s, and then several more selected from
the many written for the War Years Reunion in 1992 by Paul Zall ‘48 and friends. Tune: “Yes, Jesus Loves Me.”)

YEA, MORALS MATTER
(F. Dudley Perkins)

Swarthmore girls abhor all sin
Drink no whiskey, beer or gin
But a few with morals loose
Slyly sip tomato juice

Chorus:
Yea, morals matter (3x)
No sin at old Swarthmore.

Swarthmore boys are good as gold
Never think of making bold
If the girls are slightly bored
They can go to Haverford
Chorus:

Crum Woods is the co-ed’s doom
Whisp’ring shadows fill the gloom
Suddenly there falls a hush
Dean’s inspecting underbrush
Chorus:

The Press Box is a sinful den
Not discussed by Swarthmore men
But those nasty boys from Penn
Call it Annex number ten.
Chorus:

1940s:
Mr. Gresley’s got the key
But he won’t give it up to me.
Now all I can do is hope
Mr. G. won’t see this rope.
Chorus:

1992:
Homer Gresley kept the key
To Worth women’s chastity
Making sure that they would be
Safe from sex and puberty.
Chorus:

Amy at the switchboard knew
What, where, when, and who with who;
Today they would hire her
At the National Enquirer.
Chorus:

Dragon of the dining room
Mrs. Selmes could spell our doom
On the days that we were late,
Those were days we never ate.
Chorus: