Story recorded from Caherciveen Traveller, Mikeen McCarthy in the 1970s
Jim

M Mc The traveller that’s how they got their living like d’y know supposed to be terrible liers, but their was never a traveller told the truth. That’s in dealing like in horses an all that which it was different if you got down to conversation they wouldn’t tell you no lies them. To avoid the guards and the police and everything like that, they’d tell you a world of lies.

But there was an old guard anyway an he came on with a bicycle. An there was a man by the name of Tom Brien and there was two horses wandering up the road, and on came the guard, Tom he said is it you own the horses up the road. Oh no ses Tom not me at all he said they belong to a farmer up the road or something. So the old guard goes on with his bicycle an here he’s trying this farm and that farm, he couldn’t find no one up for the horses. So he came back down, an when he came back down Tom had the two horses tied up with a rope up the village, that’s they call the head stand. Now when he had the horses tied up like the guard couldn’t summons him. He came the way, Tom he said you’re an awful bloody lier he said. How’s that said Tom? You told me a while ago you didn’t own them horses. Well he said during the time you were gone, he said, and the time you came back tis then I found out I owned em he said. Jeekers Tom he said you’re an awful lier, he said, tell me Tom he said, did a tinker ever go to heaven? Oh they did ses he, one went he said, and when he went in he left down his budget, that’s was his bud for bringing the tin and the tools and all that. And he started making tin wear in the side of the streets in heaven, he said, and the first money he got, he said, he went into the first pub, he said and he got drunk, and he started fighting with all the angels above in heaven he said. And would you believe me they search all heaven for a guard to put him out and they couldn’t find one.