Lots of people here have the same problem John. Three couples in our road have covered their garden with permeable membrane and put slate chips over it all. Then they've put several attractive pots of flowers out, which 'merely' need watering and feeding. Looks quite nice, and very easy to maintain.

I do like our two lawns though. The green sward is refreshing to the eye. (Husband mows them, not so 'refreshing for him though!)

I see that the large fire caused by the flame thrower is now reported online in a local newspaper. There's a photo of the fire crews' tenders and the smoke. (Dereham Times, garden fire at Hockering)
Oil tanks around Norfolk can be so dangerous. (So can flame-throwers!)