The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #169212   Message #4062116
Posted By: YorkshireYankee
30-Jun-20 - 01:49 AM
Thread Name: Songs from the Mudcat Worldwide Singaround
Subject: ADD-Don’t Know the Words.(for My FavoUrite Things)
And here are the words for my UK vs US English parody of "My Favorite Things", as a number of people seemed interested. (I've posted it in a Mudcat thread before now, but I've revised it since then, so might as well share the updated version.)

Below the lyrics, I've added a glossary, for those who may not be familiar with all the terms.

Don’t Know the Words... (for My FavoUrite Things)
TTO: Rodger & Hammerstein’s My Favorite Things
New words: Vikki Appleton Fielden

Jelly is jam here, and jello is jelly
The car has a boot and my foot wears a wellie
Mention “sultanas”, I think "Eastern Kings"
Don’t know the words for my favourite things

Summat is not where you go when you’re climbing
Jumper is not someone into sky diving
Bob is Your uncle, the Beeb is your aunt
Don’t know the words to explain what I want

If my languish causes anguish; if you think me sad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Beer’s sold by landlords instead of bartenders
Don’t tell the clerk that your man needs suspenders
Braces are not always worn on your teeth
Rubber is nothing to do with a sheath

I stand in line; over here it’s called queueing
Lines are engaged but they never need wooing
You stop while five while I stay until four
Knob isn’t always a thing on a door

If I speak, luv, like a freak, luv; if you think me mad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Biscuits are sweet but a tart can be racy,
a Nice bit o’ crumpet might wear something lacy
Crackers are not always eaten with cheese
Folks don’t wear flannels but you can wear fleece

Chips come with haddock; and crisps in a packet
Soccer is football and baseball’s not cricket
Stockings have ladders and Cricket has runs
Baps is the word for my favourite buns

If you’re thinkin’ I’ve been drinkin’; if I seem a cad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Two pints of bitter was not a bad notion
Held up two fingers and caused a commotion
I didn’t quack but you called me a duck
Muffler’s not something to quiet a truck

You call me luv; I don’t know who you are, pet
But when I say shag, ducks, I only mean carpet
Met a cute bloke at the Anchor & Bull
Kept my hands off him but he said I pulled

I get confused but I can’t ask my granny
My knickers are knackered and show off my f...reckles
You can go barking though you’re not a dog,
Everyone goes to the loo in a swamp... (um, bog!)

If my diction causes friction; if I’m misconstrued
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so rude!


UK/Yorkshire word – US word
jelly – Jello
jam – jelly
preserves – jam
boot – (car) trunk
wellie (short for Wellington) – boot
sultana – raisin (sort of: raisins and a sultanas are produced from the same grape but a raisin is dried naturally, and a sultana is dipped in veg oil and acid and then dried.)
summat – something (I think it's a corruption of somewhat)
jumper – sweater
Bob's your uncle – you're all set/in good shape
Auntie Beeb – the BBC
landlord – pub owner
suspenders – garter
braces – suspenders
rubber – condom
queue – line
line – telephone line
engaged – busy
stop – stay
while – until
knob – dick
biscuit – cookie
tart – loose woman
nice bit of crumpet – very attractive woman (usually young)
cracker – very attractive woman
flannel – washcloth
fleece – warm jacket (often woolen)
chips – french fries
crisps – potato chips
football – soccer
ladder – run (as in stocking)
steps – ladder
baps – bread rolls
holding up two fingers is like flipping the bird to someone – rudest possible gesture (but it's ok if you do it like a peace sign).
meduck/ducks – dearie
muffler – scarf
silencer – muffler
luv – darlin'
pet – dear
shag – have sex with
pulled – successfully picked up/scored
knickers – undies
pants – underpants
knackered – worn out
fanny – pussy (as in woman's "front bottom")
barking – mad
bog – bathroom (Brits think we're rather silly to call it a bathroom, especially if there's not even a bath in it)