We have family here. They all believe in spag bol except for me. I make tons of ragù which I freeze, ready to go. My ragù is half pork, half beef. They've never heard of ragù with pork in it. Yes, that red thing is a piece of carrot. My ragù starts with a soffritto of onion, celery, carrot and pancetta. Theirs are just onion, minced garlic (ugh) and beef. My ragù shouldn't have garlic in it but Mrs Steve insists, so I bash a few cloves with my fist and throw them in. My ragù doesn't have herbs, but theirs has dried basil. I'd rather hack off the family jewels with a rusty machete than add dried basil, so I offer torn fresh basil leaves at the end. They think I'm mad. Bolognese sauce served with spaghetti does not exist in Italy, so I offer the finest pappardelle instead. Nope, it has to be spaghetti. Anyway, it was a triumph. A plethora of empty dishes!