The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #113763 Message #4065853
Posted By: Joe Offer
25-Jul-20 - 09:38 PM
Thread Name: Lyr ADD: Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake (C F Horn)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Miss Fogarty's Christmas Cake (C F Horn)
Anybody know anything about this one?
GRANDMA'S KILLER FRUITCAKE
verse 1: The holidays were upon us And things were going fine ‘til the day I heard the doorbell And a chill ran up my spine I grabbed the wife and children As the postman wheeled it in A yearly Christmas nightmare Has just come back again
Chorus: It was harder than the head of Uncle Bucky Heavy as the sermon of Preacher Lucky One’s enough to give the whole state of Kentucky A great big bellyache! It was denser than a drove of barnyard turkeys Tougher than a truckload of all-beef jerky Drier than a drought in Albuquerque Grandma’s killer fruitcake!
Verse 2: Now, I’ve had to swallow some marginal fare At our family feasts I even downed Aunt Dolly’s possum pie Just to keep the family peace I winced at Wilma’s gizzard mousse But said it tasted fine But that lethal weapon that Grandma bakes Is where I draw the line
Chorus
Bridge: It’s early Christmas morning and the phone rings us awake “It’s Grandma, Pa, she wants to know, how did we like the cake?” “Well, Grandma… I never!… We couldn’t!… Unbelievable, that’s for sure! What’s that you say? Oh, no, Grandma! Please don’t send us more!”