This jaunty piece of nonsense has long been a favourite of mine.

IRISH GIRLS (WILL STEAL YOUR HEART AWAY)
(Gary Shearston)

From Carlow to Tipperary and martyr Ring of Kerry
Waterford, Roscommon, Dingle Bay
From Sligo to Connemara, Wicklow to Wexford Harbour
Irish girls will steal your heart away

Now one day by Shannon water, I met a Kerry daughter
Riding on a colt of dapple grey
She just said her name was Ethne then rode away and left me
Thinking I’d been dreaming in the day

So I made a quick inquiry up at the local priory
An old monk just winked at me and said
‘Ah, for sure, go down the road there, you’ll find a path that’s quite clear
Leading to her home but not her bed

For her heart is with a stranger whose grave is marked bush ranger
They both used to live ‘round here before
And together they cavorted until he got transported
To Australia from Erin’s shore’

I just figured he was far gone, been on his knees for too long
Heard as much as he could absolve
But his words came back to haunt, to tease, perplex and daunt me
Leaving me a mystery to solve

So next day I went a-courting, sweet apples she was sorting
Smiled at me then quickly looked away
And said of the rose I brought her, ‘I suppose you think that oughta
Make me wanna roll you in the hay’

I just laughed and begged and pleaded, she finally conceded
Horses we might ride a little way
She brought out the dapple grey, called the bay, she said
‘I might just saddle both of them without delay’

Beneath skies of stormy weather, we rode through mountain heather
She said that she did not have long to stay
Later, strolling by the river, I promised I would give her
Anything she wanted not to stray

As her fancy I was seeking, I heard a willow creaking
And turned around in time to see it sway
But, as it began to tumble, it made me trip and stumble
Dragged her to the ground in disarray

There our arms and legs entangled, and for a while we dangled
Then she said goodbye and rode away
And although I tried to follow, up hill, down dale and hollow
I kept getting lost along the way

Then a mist began a-falling, seemed bent upon forestalling
Any hope of sign upon the ground
Next thing I heard a fiddle, snare drum, a paradiddle
I tell you I shivered at the sound

So next day I took the quare path, returned again to her hearth
It was just a pile of ruined stones
Out the back a cross was hedged in, it bore the strangest legend
‘Here lies one of Johnny Doolan’s bones’

From Carlow to Tipperary and martyr Ring of Kerry
Waterford, Roscommon, Dingle Bay
From Sligo to Connemara, Wicklow to Wexford Harbour
Irish girls will steal your heart away
Irish girls will steal your heart away

Maybe someone could check the accuracy of my above transcription.

Youtube clip

--Stewie.