Both Sides Now (known as The Toast Song)
(Chris Clarke) - former Mudcatter Canberra Chris

In morning time when I arise
My breakfast fare is no surprise,
I pour the cornflakes, make the tea
And then reach for the bread.
I turn the gas on, light the grill,
And think this time I really will
Stay wide awake, make perfect toast
and start the day well-fed -

I'll lightly toast it both sides now,
Both up and down
To golden brown,
The toasting time I will recall,
I really can make toast
After all.

But then I read, to pass the time,
The cornflakes advertising rhyme,
I hear the news, but don't take in
A single item read.
And then an old, familiar smell
Invades the dreamworld where I dwell,
and fills the room with flames and smoke
and fumes of burning bread -

I've burnt the toast on both sides now,
Both front and back
To charcoal black,
The toasting time I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
After all.

And so I scrape it in the bin
Which makes the slices rather thin,
Then wipe the knife upon the cloth
Back in my dream-like state.
I butter it with marmalade,
Then to correct the mess I've made
Spread butter on the other side
And stick it to the plate -

My toast is buttered both sides now,
Both left and right,
I'm none too bright,
The buttering I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
At all.

Written in Perth, Western Australia, early 80s.
Chris Clarke