TAUMARUNUI
(Peter Cape)

I’m an ordinary joke, growin’ old before me time
‘Cause me heart’s in Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

Taumarunui, Taumarunui
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

You can get to Taumarunui going north or going south
And you end up their at midnight and there’s cinders in your mouth
You got cinders in your whiskers and a cinder in your eye
So you hop off for refreshments, for a cuppa tea and pie

Taumarunui, Taumarunui
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

There's a sheila in Refreshments and she's pouring cups'a tea
And me heart jumps like a rabbit when she pours a cup for me   
She's got hair a flamin' yeller and a mouth a flamin' red
And I'll love that flamin' sheila till I'm up and gone and dead

In Taumarunui, Taumarunui
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

You can get a job in Wellington or get a job up north
But you can't in Taumarunui though you try for all you're worth
If I want to see this shiela, then I've got to take a train
Get ten minutes for Refresments then they cart me off again

From Taumarunui, Taumarunui
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

Well they took me on as fireman on the Limited Express
And I thought that she'd be jake but now she's all a flamin' mess
That shiela wouldn't take to me - I thought she'd be a gift
She's gone and changed her duty hours and works the daylight shift

From Taumarunui, Taumarunui
Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

I’m an ordinary joke, growin’ old before me time
‘Cause me heart’s in Taumarunui on the Main Trunk line

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--Stewie.