One hundred years from now, in the first human colony on the planet Mars, when there has been a three-month lockdown due to an outbreak of Martian bad-virus and the weather has been shit for weeks, non-stop planetary dust storms an' all that, the colonists will be watching footie repeats on their virtual doodah screens and thrilling again and again to see that second Liverpool goal. The repeat button will wear out. West Ham corner, bam. Trent gets ball, perfect 60-yard diagonal, bam. Shaq gets ball on left flank, 50 yards to go, hits it perfectly into box without taking a touch, bam. Mo controls ball with magical perfection, little flick to back of net, bam. Bloody beat that.

One other thing: in the last two games, in which Liverpool have been imperious, Hendo has been the pivot, the anchor-man, the leader of men. Please stay fit, Hendo...