Interesting take on this in WashPo:

Blicky.

If paywall, lemme know.

What I don't get is why people worry about what pronouns to use in *addressing* anyone. "You" has no gender. One only uses a gendered pronoun in English in 3rd person, singular.

If you talk about me out of my hearing, I don't know -and don't care- what you use.
If you talk about me while I am there, use my name. And *then* use They to avoid repeating my name.