I learned this monologue from my mothers knee in the early 40's
As ta seen oor Mary's new 'at
its a stunner an noa mistak
its teed up wi a gert bunch o ribbon
an a gert feather darn back
she goes to church evry sunday
eeh an' she dus mak fella's laff
even parson forgets his text
when he sees oor Mary's new 'at
fat owd mrs Grundy sharts sit darn Mary
we can't see for thee new 'at
oor Mary sez na then ma Grundy
tha maunt think tha's bowt church
even if tha 'as put hawpny in t' collection.