A whole bus load of nuns tragically died in a road crash. They all queued up at the pearly gates.

"Welcome, ladies," said St Peter. "Now I have to ask each of you a simple question, then I can let you in. Sister Mary, you're first. Now, sister, have you ever touched a penis?"

"Well..there was this one time when I touched one with my pinky finger..."

"Hmm. Well, wash your pinky in that holy water there and you can come in."

"Now, Sister Christine. Same question: have you ever touched a penis?"

"Well...there was this one time when I held one in this hand for just a minute..."

"Hmmm. Well wash that hand in the holy water and you can come in..."

Just then there was a kerfuffle in the queue as Sister Helen tried to barge in front of Sister Judy.

"Now, now, there's no rush, Sister Helen. What do you think you're doing?" said St Peter.

Said Sister Helen, "If I've got to gargle with that holy water I'm bloody well going to do it before Sister Judy dips her arse in it..."