Dairy Cow's Lament.
Though I've just given birth to a heifer,
And of pride and of milk I am full,
It is sad to relate that my lacteal state
Was not brought about by a bull..
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I've never been naughty - I swear it,
In spite of the calves I have born.
By Farmer Brown's tractor, I'm virgo intacto,
I've not had a bull by the horn.
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How boring the farmyard and meadow,
The cowshed seems dreary and grey,
Since the one bit of fun in the year's dismal run_
Has by science been taken away.
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Now I know that the farm is a business,
In which we must all pull our weight.
But I'd pull and I'd pull for a nicely built bull,
This phoney arrangement I hate.
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Never let it be said that I'm jealous,
That's something a cow shouldn't do.
But those 'Land Army' tarts, who handle our parts,

Still get theirs in the old fashioned way.