A rather plump old lady waddles into the tavern and spots a huge spider's web hanging from the ceiling, its occupant is fat and hairy. She screams blue murder, and the dear little bat flies upwards and gobbles up the spider, to be embraced with great gratitude by the biddy. Her African husband proffers his warm feet and the bat settles comfortably on them to warm his toes.
"Any crumpets?" she asks. "Any Old Speckled Hen ale?" Big smiles as these appear at the table.
"'appy Chreeessmas every bodee!" grins the African. "And God bless us every one!" laughs Old Lady.