I'd already written a parody of It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To (after the US elections in November 2020; see the first post in this thread), and don't normally write more than one parody to the same tune, but in this case a UK version was just begging to be written...

Background for those who don't live in the UK:
It turns out that last year (2020) while the rest of the UK was in lockdown and celebrating Christmas alone, avoiding parties and not visiting their families – even those in hospitals, dying alone – Boris Johnson and most of the Downing Street crew were having Christmas parties right and left (after wisely but hypocritically ordering the country not to).

When this info started leaking out, of course the first thing Johnson & co did was deny it. However, when photos started emerging, they maintained that they were all "working"– but "just happened to have some wine and cheese on hand" (and a lovely catered buffet!) to keep things cheery.

Although other people who broke the rules and held parties in Dec 2020 ended up receiving very large fines indeed, the Metropolitan Police (a.k.a. "The Met") have declined to investigate this particular breach of the law. The Home Secretary, when asked why not, explained that it was in the past and that the police "don't investigate things that have happened in the past". (I am not making this up!)

The reference to wallpaper is because one of the first things Johnson and his girlfriend (now wife) did, once he was in office, was redecorate No 10 at great expense (for example, £840/~$1,140 per roll of wallpaper, in spite of which the result was not exactly fetching), but it's ok because the taxpayers didn't foot the bill; instead a rich Tory donor paid for it all. We're sure he expects nothing in return.

Party? What Party? I’ll Lie If I Want To
To the tune of It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Dec 2021

I held a party in secret last year,
Thought everything would be fine
Some lousy snitch let everyone know,
Now I’m in trouble, big-time!

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to,
lie if I want to, lie if I want to
You always knew I was lying to you

Covid 19 had been spreading like mad
’Cos I locked down way too late
Why should I care if old people die?
Saves lots of dough for the state

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

I told the peasants to cancel their fun,
Lock down and sit in their homes
Then had a spree with vino and cheese
While masses died all alone

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

There was no party and we broke no rules,
Just wanted colleagues to see
Our new wallpaper and hey, anyway
Rules don’t apply to little me

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

Can’t understand why you’re all so upset,
Let’s just pretend it’s not true
Please don’t forget to castrate The Met,
Say it’s too old to pursue

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...