I'm especially proud of rhyming "bandanna" and "arcana".

MOMMAS, DON'T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE SCHOLARS
(parody by Elizabeth Block)

Scholars are flabby and pale, they get no exercise
    They read all night, then they stare at you with red bleary eyes
Their tummies are aching with too many meals of bad coffee, fries and Bic Macs
    Their shoulders are hunched and their fingers are grimy from dusty old library stacks

Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be scholars
    Or teachers or preachers or college perfessors
    Let 'em be cowboys, musicians, actresses
Mommas, don't let you babies grow up to be scholars
    Whether they publish or whether they perish, it's no life for your daughter or son.

Scholars they never go dancing, they won't sing a song
    You go to a concert or party, they won't come along
Their minds are engaged with the tiny details of what some hundred-years-dead author wrote
    They get all excited and jump up and down when they find them a brand-new footnote

Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be scholars
    Let 'em wear a Stetson, chaps, a bandanna
    And not have their heads stuffed with useless arcana
Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be scholars
    Chained to their desk with their nose in a book
        They never have time to eat, let alone cook
    No wonder they have such a gloomy outlook
    They never have any fun!


Words: Elizabeth Block
Music: Ed & Patsy Bruce