The intention was transparently obvious. Disingenuousness doesn't suit you. The allusion to rape in a piece with my name in it is utterly disgraceful. Anyway, here's a hearty Irish joke (from the Irish Post, so don't blame me!)

A sobbing Ms Murphy approaches Fr O'Grady after Mass.

He says: "So what's bothering you?"

She replies: "Oh, Father, I've terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says: "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Did he have any last requests?"

"He did, Father," she replied. "He said: "Please Mary, put down that damn gun."