My vote goes to the Flanders and Swann song, but I suppose one would have to be more careful since a certain celebrated lady was condemned for taking the piss out of the Welsh on TV. Sod it, why should we, they don't scruple to denigrate the English! Racist, my arse!

Better yet, let's do without a national anthem, or substitute John Lennon's "Imagine" or that earlier junkie, William Blake's stirring "Jerusalem". OK, it's the Parry tune that makes it, but standing in a tea chest to sing it need not be compulsory (pace Monty Python).

"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."