YOUNG LADY
Tune: "Polly Vaughn" or "Jack Haggerty" or....?

   A week ago Monday I drove to Fort Bragg
   With my African basket and recycled bag.
   Fresh out of chocolate, I had to get more
   “Good morning, young lady,” said the man in the store.

   Should I excuse him because of his youth?
   No, I think it’s better that he learn the truth.
   “I’ll not be cajoled by your flattering tongue,
   I am not a lady and I am not young.

   “One month ago I turned seventy-two
   I’ll bet I’m thirty years older than you.
   I’m losing my teeth and I’m losing my hair
   Now I’ve lost my bifocals, I don’t know where.

   “I live surrounded by things I can’t find
   But that doesn’t mean that I’m losing my mind.
   I know where it is: it’s right here in my head
   And I plan to keep using it till I am dead.

“Now I’ve got my chocolate, I’ll be on my way
I’ve enjoyed talking with you here today.
Have I made myself clear? I don’t need to say more?”
“Sure thing, young lady,” said the man in the store.