> "I told you I was ill!"

Spike Milligan's tombstone, at his own request, bore "I told them I was ill". They had to translate it into (I *think*) Gaelic to sneak it past the Church Commissioners.

Thinking of which: I once saw the following on a church entrance (in Norfolk iirc), with a note that this also was at the instigator's request:

Here lie I by the churchyard door
Here lie I because I'm poor
The further in the more you pay
Here lie I as warm as they