Then there's the oft-told old chestnut (but why not...)

Wife, looking at herself naked in the full-length bedroom mirror, wailing at her husband:

"Oh my God! What's happened to me! Look! Belly flab, bat's wings, love handles, saggy tits, bum like a burst bag of broad beans, cellulite, varicose veins on my bandy legs... PLEASE tell me something that's good about me!"

"Well, dear, you still have perfect eyesight..."


Ps., Donuel: It's a joke thread.