One of the more creative versions, sung for Helene Stratman-Thomas and Aubrey Snyder by Noble Brown of Woodman, Wis., 1946. Brown said he "learned that aboard a sailing ship on a voyage from San Francisco to Falmouth, England,” app. ca1900.

Poor old Reuben Ranzo,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo,
Poor old Reuben Ranzo,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo.

He shipped aboard a whaler,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo,
But Ranzo was no sailor,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo.

He could not do his duty.
For neither love nor beauty.

He could not find his sea legs.
Used clumsy, awkward land pegs.

He could not coil a line right.
Did not know end from rope's bight.

Cold not splice the main brace.
He was a seasick soft case.

He could not box the compass.
The skipper raised a rumpus.

The old man was a bully.
At sea was wild and woolly.

Abused poor Reuben plenty.
He scourged him five and twenty.

He lashed him to the mainmast,
The poor seafaring outcast.

Poor Reuben cried and pleaded,
But he was left unheeded.

Some vessels are hard cases.
Keep sailors in strict places.

Do not show any mercy,
For Reuben, James, nor Percy.

The ocean is exacting,
Is often cruel acting.

A sailor never whimpers,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo,
Though shanghaied by shore crimpers,
Ranzo, boy, Ranzo.


Once again, Ranzo (not a tailor this time) is a victim - because he's ignorant and "soft." The apprentice in "The Cruel Ship's Captain" suffered more, though, as did "Andrew Ross."