A bloke was coming round after his operation when the surgeon appeared at his bedside.

"I've got good news and bad news," said the doc.

"Oh God! Well tell me the good news first, Doc!"

"Well, remember I said that your whole right leg would have to come off? Thing is, we only had to remove half of it after all!"

"Oh, that's great! But what's the bad news, Doc?"

"It was the top half..."