I've also been waiting for these words.

This is my favourite of Bruce Watsons's lockdown project 30 Songs in 30 days - all stories were heard by Bruce (& probably all the carriage) in his commute, except for the conversation about the itch, which was heard by his wife, Jill

I’M ON THE TRAIN © Bruce Watson 2020 - This song is not so much sung, as yelled.

https://brucewatsonmusic.bandcamp.com/track/im-on-the-train

CHORUS:
I’M ON THE TRAIN … YEAH … NO
I’M ON THE TRAIN … HELLO?
I’M ON THE TRAIN

I RECKON I’LL BE HOME IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR
YEAH, WE’RE GOING THROUGH RICHMOND JUST NOW
YOU KNOW … I WAS THINKING … SORRY … WHAT?
NO, I DIDN’T GET THAT. MUST HAVE BEEN A DEAD SPOT
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

YEAH … NOT TOO BAD … YEAH … A BIT HARD TO SAY
EXCEPT FOR THAT PRICK JASON. OTHERWISE IT WAS OK
NO, THAT’S BEEN GOING PRETTY WELL SO FAR
BUT I STILL NEED TO SORT OUT THAT THING WITH HR
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

SO, I WAS THINKING. WE COULD HAVE STIR FRY TONIGHT
YEAH … MMMM … I GUESS SO … RIGHT
WHAT WAS THAT? … OK, GOOD … THAT’D BE NICE
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

WHO!!!??? …      
BUT WHAT ABOUT …. I KNOW
DIDN’T THEY ….. OH!         
YEAH … YEAH … YEAH …… NO
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

DID I TELL THAT JACK’S FRIEND NEVILLE’S EX-WIFE’S
NEW PARTNER’S DOG WALKER’S BABY’S HAD SOME TUMMY GRIPE?
YEAH. HE SAID THAT SHE’S BEEN SPEWIN’ JUST EVERYWHERE
I THINK THEY’RE IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS. BUT I WON’T GO THERE.
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

I SAW BRENDA TODAY. MY GOD! WHAT A BITCH
OH, HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO THE DOCTOR YET ABOUT THAT ITCH?
I’M A BIT WORRIED THAT IT’S SORE TO THE TOUCH
IT MIGHT BE GONORRHEA — OR IT COULD BE THRUSH
I’M ON THE TRAIN …

IT’S SO NOISY HERE, I’D BETTER SPEAK UP. YEAH
FOR SOME REASON I’M GETTING THESE ANGRY STARES
GOTTA GO NOW, GOT ANOTHER CALL — WHAT A PAIN
HELLO . . .
I’M ON THE TRAIN