IT ISN’T THE HEN THAT CACKLES THE MOST
As recorded by Will Fyffe – found on Spotify.

1. If you want a chicken to supply the family nest,
You’ll find that it’s the quiet ones that always do the best.
The one that does the cacklin’ is the one that’s full of boast,
But it isn’t the one that puts a couple of eggs upon the toast.

CHORUS: It isn’t the hen that cackles the most that lays the bonniest egg,
Settin’ in the hay,
Cacklin’ all the day,
Instead of doin’ her duty like a woman ought to do,
All she does is henpeck the cock-a-doodle do!
Like some wives, she’s got too much to say,
Leads her poor old husband all astray.
Oh! Cock-a-doodle, cock-a-doodle! She keeps pullin’ his leg,
But it isn’t the hen that cackles the most that lays the bonniest egg.

2. Often she gets jealous of a decent cluckin’ hen,
Rearin’ up her family in its ain wee but-an’-ben.
She clucks away and scratches up the earth for all around.
But all she keeps on layin’ are some feathers on the ground;
So—CHORUS

3. Remember, there’s a moral to this little chicken song:
You’ve got to keep your tongue between your teeth although it’s long;
For naggin’ makes you older and it’s young you want to look,
And what did Rabbie Burns say the nicht he kissed the cook? CHORUS

PATTER: Ha-ha! You know, a hen is just like a woman: aye on the cackle. I’ve got one at hame, an’ I know—not exactly a chicken, mind you, but the biggest grouse in Scotland. Look at the woman next door: fourteen bairns, an’ you never hear her ..., an’ my wife yappin’ all day long an’ no results. Not a chicken in the hoose! The cradle’s like the bottle in the cupboard, completely empty! So you see, I’m quite right when I tell you—CHORUS