I have an immovable golden rule, mudguard. I never, repeat never, post anything that makes me tense or miserable. Donuel is a strange and inadequate man (at least I think he's a man, but you never know these days) who loves to troll, but I'm impenetrable. He is not, unfortunately. Must be those early-day mushrooms of his. If you're not as entertained by our back-and-forths as I am, then I can only repeat what I said this morning to BWM: you have choices! And this IS a joke thread...

I get told off for shouting quietly at people with their non-jokes, but I never get praised for my jokes. Ho hum.