Yorkshireman goes into the chemists and says to the chap, "Does tha sell arse cream?"

"Certainly, sir. Magnum or Cornetto?"



Yorkshire farmer comes across a bloke bending down to drink out of his pond.

He calls out to him, "Eyup, lad, don't drink out o' there - it's full o' cow shit an' 'orse piss!"

"Sorry," says the bloke in a very posh accent, "I happen to be from London and I didn't quite catch that. Can you say it again more slowly?"

"Aye, all reet, lad. Cup...both...your...hands...together...then...you...won't...spill...so...much...