You have a thread for Trump. We have a thread for Brit politics. Kindly refrain from unfunny efforts to spill Trump over into this thread.

A bloke accidentally cut off all his fingers with his chainsaw so he rushed to the doctor's.

"Well give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do..."

"I haven't got them with me!"

"What! Why on earth not?"

"I couldn't pick them up!"


"Doctor! Doctor! Every morning when I get up I feel dizzy for an hour!"

"Well try getting up an hour later!"