This song was mentioned by bigJ on 17 Nov 98 and again by Felipa the next day.

I couldn’t find these lyrics online anywhere, so I had to transcribe them myself from a recording found at Spotify, so that means there are some gaps and uncertainties, indicated by ellipses.


AS LONG AS YOU’VE GOT YOUR HEALTH
As recorded by Leon Rosselson on “For the Good of the Nation,” 1981.

When I was just a kid, ev’ryone told me
That God’s most precious gift was a healthy body.
“Eat well to feel well,” my mother would say.
“Work hard and play hard” was my teacher’s way.
“Be clean,” said the vicar, “in thought, word and deed.”
And preacher and teacher and mother agreed
That if in life you don’t succeed,
What does it matter as long as you’ve got your health?
You don’t need wealth.
When skies are grey
And you’ve lost your way
And tomorrow’s the same as yesterday,
Doesn’t matter a jot as long as you’ve got your health.

When I left school, I went to work in a factory.
Loading machines, I was just a mechanical monkey,
Bending and lifting all the long day.
Me arms are on strike and my back’s giving way.
My head runs a-thundering in my brain
Over and over and over again.
I think I’m probably going insane,
But what does it matter as long as you’ve got your health?
You don’t need wealth.
When your day’s work’s done,
You want some fun,
But you’re too bloody tired and feeling numb.
Doesn’t matter a jot as long as you’ve got your health.

Ten years or more I’ve been smoking like a chimney.
When I saw those ads, I knew it would make a man of me.
I felt … those cold mountain streams,
The glamour of girls and the magical dreams,
I’ve been … since I was young.
It’s time I collected the prize of….
I think I’ll choose the iron lung.
But what does it matter as long as you’ve got your health?
You don’t need wealth.
You’re sick of smoke.
Your voice is a croak.
You cough so hard you nearly choke.
Doesn’t matter a jot as long as you’ve got your health.

I live in a two-room flat in a run-down property:
Thirteen people sharing a bath with a lavat’ry.
Ceiling is peeling; the floors have got mould.
The walls have contracted a permanent cold.
Even the beetles and bugs have got TB.
The rats invite their friends in for tea.
I don’t like the way they’re looking at me,
But what does it matter as long as you’ve got your health?
You don’t need wealth.
You wake up with crabs.
You feel like a crab.
The whole of your body’s got rising damp.
Doesn’t matter a jot as long as you’ve got your health.

Last month I got a message from the company.
I’m on the dole; I’d be better off in the army.
Open-air man’s life, that should keep me fit:
Travel and action and doing my bit.
What if they sent me to fight in the front line?
Suppose I got shot up or not by a mine.
I can’t stand the sight of blood, especially mine.
But what does it matter as long as you’ve got your health?
You don’t need wealth.
If a warning goes,
If a siren blows
If the button’s pressed, if the world explodes,
Doesn’t matter a jot as long as you’ve got your health.