I Have A Dog Called Rover

I have a dog whose name is Rover, tra la la, tra la la
I have a dog whose name is Rover, oh shit
I have a dog whose name is Rover
When he shits he shits all over
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

I have a dog whose name is Ben, tra la la, tra la la
I have a dog whose name is Ben, oh shit
I have a dog whose name is Ben,
He has nine assholes maybe ten,
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

I have a dog whose name is Clarence, tra la la, tra la la
I have a dog whose name is Clarence, oh shit
I have a dog whose name is Clarence,
When he shits he looses balance
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

I have a dog, a great big Morgan, tra la la, tra la la
I have a dog, a great big Morgan, oh shit
I have a dog, a great big Morgan,
Got no ass but what an organ
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

Mary in the kitchen shelling peas, tra la la, tra la la
Mary in the kitchen shelling peas, oh shit
Mary in the kitchen shelling peas
The hairs of her cunt between her knees
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

Mary in the kitchen pummeling duck, tra la la, tra la la
Mary in the kitchen pummeling duck, oh shit
Mary in the kitchen pummeling duck
When the cheeks of her ass went chuff, chuff, chuff,
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

Mary in the kitchen frying rice, tra la la, tra la la
Mary in the kitchen frying rice, oh shit
Mary in the kitchen frying rice
When out of her cunt jumped three blind mice,
Shit all round the room, tra la
Shit all round the room

Transcribed from the LP The Irish Sing Rugby Songs, ca 1968. The tune is "Gathering Nots in May".